The Adventure of Artix and Safiria
by colorful magician
Summary: A mixture of Mechquest, Dragonfable, AdventureQuest, and Ebil Games.
1. Mechquest I

It was towering several feet high; sunlight was glinting off its white paint. Its rooms contained state-of-the-art learning equipment. At the entrance to the building, there was a sign which read:

MECHA LECKA HIGH

A man was walking into the building.

"Hi Artix!" A student called out.

"Good morning, Xena." He turned a corner and entered the teacher's lounge.

He sat down at a table as the principal came in.

"Hello everyone. Today's faculty meeting will be special because I get to present to you our new history teacher, Safiria!" He motioned to the woman besides him.

"Hey." She waved briefly and took her seat at Artix's table.

Artix's mouth nearly dropped open. He thought, "Oh, my goodness, that girl is HOT!! I should ask her out, but what if she rejects me? Well, based on my good looks, the chances of rejection are-" He grinned. "0 !"

Later on in the day, Artix approached Safiria. She was sitting down grading papers.

"Hi, I'm Artix."

She briefly looked up. "Hi," then she continued grading.

"So, how are your classes today?"

"Good."

"...That's...good. Anyways, have you heard about Rika's, one of our students, party?

Yes.

Yeah, it's weird how she wants it to be school-sponsored. But since it is, we teachers are required to go. I know that you're new here and that you don't know me very well, but uh,um,ahem,uh,well, actually you didn't even know who I am, or,uh, that I, um, even existed until-"

Safiria glanced at him sharply. "I'm trying to do my job right now, and you're really annoying me. So hurry up and spit it out."

"Will you go to Rika's party with me?" he smiled weakly.

"As a date?" she raised an eyebrow. Just then, Artix began to panic as all kinds of scenarios drifted through his mind. Will she call him unprofessional and rebuke him? Will she laugh at him? Will she report this as sexual harassment and get him fired? Will she-

"Yes." She replied, as she resumed her work.

"What?!"

"Y-E-S.Yes. Now, in case you haven't noticed, my patience is wearing thin."

"Oh, ok, great! I'll meet you at your house around a quarter to six, ok?" She nodded in an annoyed manner.

He began to walk away when he realized,"Oh, by the way, where's your house?" She looked at him angrily. "Uh, nevermind, I'll ask you later."

* * *

As teachers, Artix and Safiria were required to arrive early to the party as chaperones. At the door, they were greeted by Rika and each given a bag of Bath & Body lotions.

"Wow, I didn't know that these lotions were so popular with students." Artix remarked, as the students arrived and ranted on and on about how wonderful the lotions were.

"Yeah, me neither. I guess we're out of the loop." Safiria replied.

"It's probably because we're so old." Artix had meant this as a joke, but Safiria took it seriously.

"Excuse me?!" and with that she stormed out of the house. Of course, Artix went after her. However, when he caught up with her, nothing he could say or do would calm her down. In a desperate attempt, he asked if she would like to go into the arcade, which they happened to be standing in front of. Safiria seemed to grow more furious, but when she glanced at the poster on the arcade's window, all her anger was gone.

"Oh, Artix, you're so sweet! How did you know that I loved Deady and Voltaire? I've been wanting to play this game since it came out 3 months ago, but it's so expensive. You'll pay for me, right?"

"Yes." As she started playing, he noticed that she was still carrying her Bath & Body bag. "Don't you want to put that down?"

"Nope. I grew up in a bad neighborhood, so I tend to cling to free stuff."

After hours of playing, Safiria woke Artix up from his nap. "The arcade's closing."

"What? What time is it? Midnight?!"

"Yeah. Here's your wallet back."

"Oh. Thanks." Artix escorted her out of the arcade, and the owner of the arcade left. As they were walking down the street and as Safiria was chatting about the game, they heard a thunderous crash behind them. Artix tackled Safiria to the side as a giant foot stomped down on where she had been standing. The foot continued in its trying to stomp them, so all they could do was roll back and forth, barely dodging each attack. Eventually, a bottle rolled out of Safiria's Bath & Body bag. The foot stepped on it and the monster fell backwards. Safiria and Artix got up and began running.

"We've got to go to the school! They have some state of the art mechas there!" Artix yelled. Safiria looked behind them as the beast got to its feet. It was a Deady mecha, and its nails shot toward them. Luckily, Artix saw them and was able to steer him and Safiria out of the way. He grabbed a bottle from her bag, since he had already lost his, and threw some Cotton Blossom at Deady. Once again, it tripped over it. This bought him some time to access the school's mecha hangar. He climbed into his paladin-like mecha and faced Deady. Deady once again shot his nails at Artix. Artix tried to dodge, but the side of his mecha was pierced, pinning him against a wall. Before Deady could use his other hand, Artix targeted the pilot seat and shot a laser at it. The Deady mecha exploded, but not before an escape pod was shot into the air. Artix crawled out of his mecha and ran to Safiria.

"Are you all right?" She feebly nodded, clutching her bag. "She must be in shock, since she still hasn't put that bag down." he thought. He was about to suggest that they run before the pilot of the mecha shows up, when Safiria's expression changed. She was looking at the blown-up mecha. Through the fire which had resulted from the explosion, a shadow was outlined in it. Suddenly, the debris in front of the shadow was swept away by claws. The claws belonged to Deady.

"...Wow. What are the chances of a Deady mecha being piloted by Deady?" Artix said.

Deady spoke,"How dare you destroy my mecha?!RRRAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRH!" With that statement, he spread his arms, and a bright light engulfed them.


	2. Dragonfable I

Artix and Safiria had woken up to find themselves in medieval times. They were in a strange town called Falconreach, and Artix was surprised that everyone thought he was a paladin. Eventually, the news reached Warlic. He immediately came to meet them and took them to his tent/castle. There he explained to them the Reset.

"So, everything was reset?" asked Artix.

"Yes." Warlic replied.

"Don't you want to tell me why?"

"You'll find out soon enough. Just make sure to be wary of your other self. If you guys meet, the universe will die."

"Oh, ok. Well, do you happen to know a time travel spell so that we could get back?"

"I do, but I haven't mastered it yet. I think that your best bet is to track down this Deady fellow. I'll help you find him." After meditating, he said, "Deady is somewhere around the ruins of Kordana. I'll teleport you there."

"Than-"

* * *

"ks." Artix and Safiria were inside a ship.

Safiria was amazed. "Wow, I've never seen a ship of this size before. The technology is so advanced. Hmm, I wonder what happened to all these broken robot drones."

"Probably Deady attacked them. I wonder why he attacked us?"

"Well, he is 105 percent ebil!"

"That's good to know. Wait, are you still carrying your Bath & Body bag?"

"I didn't let go when we were being attacked, why would I let go now?"

"Good point." He chuckled.

"…Artix?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for saving my life earlier. It was very brave of you."

"Oh, no problem! Besides, I was trying to save my life too!" He smiled.

Safiria laughed, "Well, anyways, when we get back, I'm going to find a way to make it up to you."

"I'll be looking forward to that."

* * *

After searching for hours, Safiria discovered the main computer processor.

"Hey Artix, come here!" she pressed a button.

Kordana appeared. "Hello, how may I help you? Artix, is that you?"

Artix replied, "Um, we haven't met…yet." They explained the situation to her.

"Ah, I see. Well, the robots were destroyed by an adventurer. I have not seen a black and scary teddy bear pass by, although he may have entered through another door. My sensors aren't working." Artix was standing off to the side when a giant explosion broke through the wall and hit him. He was blown to the other side of the room, hitting his head against the wall and falling unconscious.

"Artix!" Safiria cried. She was about to run towards him when a werewolf stepped in front of her.

"Where is the wind orb?!" He roared. Some of the debris had hit the processor, so Kordana had disappeared.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Safiria replied. She motioned towards Artix, "We're new around these parts."

The werewolf looked at Artix, "Well, then, I guess you'll have to help me search for it. Or else I'll kill him, if he isn't already dead." He grinned.

"Excuse me?" Safiria's tone hardened. "Nobody threatens my friend, you mangy mutt."

Surprised, he yelled, "Grrr, how dare you!" He was about to swipe at her when she pulled a bottle out and squirted some lotion into his open mouth. "Gaawgh!" He spat it out and growled some more.

"Hmm, no wonder these things are so popular. It neutralized your horrible breath, which I smelled even though we're standing 3 feet apart." She looked at the label. "Rainkissed leaves. This scent suits you." She placed the bottle back into her bag.

"Rainkissed leaves? How do they get that scent? Do they just wait for it to rain, or do they just spray water on the leaves?"

"I don't know. I guess they're miracle workers." She shrugged.

"Ha! Miracle workers? I know what wet leaves smell like," He lunged at her. "And this is not the smell!" He tackled her, and they landed among the debris, with Safiria on the floor and him on top. She grabbed a pipe, which happened to be next to her, and swung it at his head. He caught it and tried to use it to choke her. Safiria held onto the pipe and pushed against it. Their strength was nearly equal, so the pipe stayed level in between them. He spoke, "Hmmph, you don't fool me with your act."

"What act?"

"You and your tough-exterior-and-different-voice-inflections act. I know that deep down inside, you're just a scared, sensitive, wimpy little girl!" He pushed the pipe to her throat, and she began suffocating. A few seconds later, her life flashed before her eyes.

* * *

_What's happening? Why do I see all these weird scenes? Oh, they're scenes from my life. Figures. Hey, it's the first birthday that I remember, when I turned 4! _

A little girl was rapidly opening a present to find…a box. "Aw, Mom, why'd you get me a box?" Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Honey, you have to open the box." Upon doing so, the girl squealed in delight.

"A purse! This is the purse from that department store where I cried a lot, begging you to buy it."

"Yes, I remember that, honey."

"So that's why you didn't buy it!" She grabbed another present, and read the card. "'From: Dad'" She ripped the gift paper to shreds and revealed a doll. "Oh, Dad! I love this!"

_Yeah, I loved those two gifts very much. I put the doll in the purse and carried it with me everywhere. But the one time I set it down…_

The little girl was playing with her friend. Suddenly, her friend pointed in the direction where she had left her purse. A robber was tiptoeing towards it, thinking there was money inside, and trying to take it without anyone noticing. When he saw the little girl begin to scream, he snatched it and ran away.

_Could that be the reason why I never let anything go? Yes, I remember. I was so hurt by that incident, that I cried for months. My classmates made fun of me, since normal people wouldn't be sad for that long,especially_

"Waaaah!"

"Is the little baby crying again? How can you still be so sad? Your parents already gave you another purse and doll."_ since my parents replaced the purse and doll. But the stolen items had great sentimental value. After a while, I pretended to be tough. Mom tried to snap me out of it._

"Safiria, honey, it's not normal for a 4-year-old to be so tough and unfeeling. I suppose you couldn't handle the teasing the other kids were doing to you. You are a sensitive girl. There's nothing wrong with that."

_Sensitive? There's nothing sensitive about me! Then again, I did get easily insulted by Artix's joke at the party. But…_

* * *

"Maybe there's nothing wrong with being sensitive." She thought as she pushed the pipe higher. "After all, sensitive people go through a lot of pain, but in the end, they're still sensitive. Maybe…" She bent one elbow and, with her other arm, pushed the pipe into the werewolf's head. "being sensitive is being tough."

She shoved him off her. Having spotted something, she ran towards it and picked it up. The werewolf saw that she held a gray and cylindrical object. He said, "Do you think that rock will defeat me?" He ran towards her. She pressed a button and an energy blade materialized into his neck, beheading him.

She examined the blade and addressed the dead beast. "It's not a rock, it's a take double saber." Artix groaned. Surprised, Safiria deactivated the blade and ran towards him.

He spoke, "That was some fight."

"You saw that? I thought you were unconscious."

"No, just temporarily stunned. You were amazing, and…you saved my life. Thank you."

"Oh, just returning the favor." She hugged him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, never better."

* * *

Safiria managed to fix the computer processor so that they could speak with Kordana again. Kordana explained to them the power of the wind orb and how many creatures have come seeking to possess that power for themselves. Then, upon seeing the hole which the explosion had created, she asked Safiria if she could fix her force field generator since she didn't want any bugs creeping into the ship. Also, Kordana suggested that they fix her sensors as well in order to locate Deady. When all this was done, she knew where Deady was.

"Well, where?" Artix asked.

"Here!" A trapdoor opened beneath Artix and Safiria. They fell onto a bunch of boxes.

A voice cried out, "NOO! First Deady's attack, and now our boxes are flattened!" The voice came from a green thing who was crying. When they looked around them, they saw many of the green things running towards them. One of them shouted, "Well, at least they flattened Deady too." At this, all the green people laughed.

Filled with dread, Artix and Safiria quickly stood up. They realized that they had indeed landed on Deady. The teddy bear growled. He had been torturing the sneevils and enjoying himself until he was rudely interrupted. He raised up his hands.

Artix moaned, "Oh no, not again."


	3. Adventurequest I

"Whhhyyy?!" cried Artix. "Why did this have to happen again?!"

"Would you quit crying? I like children, not babies." Safiria yelled.

"You don't understand. I'm very claustrophobic. Why, of all places, did he have to teleport us inside a box?!" He moaned.

"Relax. I'm sure that pretty soon the ship we're on will land at a port, and the crew will find us."

Days later…

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we" Artix had been chanting this incessantly.

"NO! I am going to slap you if you don't shut up!" Safiria sighed. "I changed my mind. I don't love children; I hate them. I'm going to take a nap now."

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" Expecting to get slapped, Artix was surprised that he had no response from Safiria. "Safiria, come on wake up." He shook her. She grabbed his throat.

"We are cramped in a crate, and my back hurts. This journey is taking a long time, so you are going to let me take a nap so that it'll seem shorter. Got it?" She felt Artix's head nodding, so she let go.

"Sheesh." Artix thought. Since the crate had many slits, dim light was available. Looking through a slit, Artix could see nothing. "This is boring," he thought. "When are we gonna get off?" The sides of the box seemed to close in on him due to his delirium caused by his claustrophobia. Inwardly, he yelled, "WHEN….ARE….WE…. GETTING….OFF…?!" His breathing became rapid. He began punching against the sides. Safiria opened her eyes and sighed. She tried to grab hold of him, but his punches inadvertently thwarted every attempt. During one attempt, he felt his hand slide past her bag. "You still have that bag with you?!" He wheezed.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I do."

"What is wrong with you?"

"…What did you just say?"

"Wait," Artix said. "Maybe the lotion or gel can soften the wood so that we can punch through it." Before she could reply, he grabbed one of the bottles and started squeezing its contents onto the side of the crate. Some of it bounced back into their eyes. "Ouch! It stings!"

"Great job, doofus." Safiria mumbled. "When we get out of this I'm going to…"

"What did you say?"

"…Nothing that concerns you."

"Um, ok. Well, on the bright side, now this crate smells like vanilla. Wait, no, raspberry. No, vanilla, raspberry… I don't know. I guess my nose is playing tricks on me."

"I don't think so. This must be the black raspberry vanilla scent."

"That's good to know." Artix punched the lotion-slicked side.

"You're doing that again?"

"Yes. Do you have a better idea?"

"Keep punching."

In his frenzied panic, Artix started punching rapidly. Eventually, one of his fists broke through the box. "Yes!" He kicked the side down and crawled out. They were in the storage room of the ship, and the stairs to the deck were in front of him. He began jumping in happiness when he heard a gun cock. Turning around, he saw a pirate pointing a gun at him.

"Arrr, what are ye doing here?"

"We were trapped in this box!" The pirate looked down and picked up a piece of paper stuck to a piece of the box.

He put down his gun. "Aye, I see. This is a magical seal which put a wall of silence on ye box. Ye couldn't hear us, and we couldn't hear yer screams for help, assuming ye did scream."

"Yes, yes we did! How long have we been at sea? It's felt like days!"

"The seal also alters yer perception of time. This ship's only been at sea for a day. Didn't ye notice that ye didn't have an urge to eat or drink or use the toilet?"

"..No, we did not."

At this point, Safiria had crawled out of the box. "I just assumed that our bodies were going into survival mode."

The pirate remarked, "Safira, I expected this kind of daffness from Artix, but not from ye!"

They were startled. Safiria inquired, "How do you know our names?"

"What?! It's me, Captain Rhubarb! I guess the seal causes amnesia too."

Safiria sighed. "No, not exactly." She explained their dilemma, ending with "So now we're 4,995 years into the future."

"No, 5000 years." Deady appeared in a blaze of red light.

Alarmed, Safiria cried, "Deady!"

"Hello, are you enjoying your trip? Because I propose that we add a little more excitement." He grinned evilly. "We're going to settle this once and for all. This little escapade of yours has stopped being fun a long time ago."

"Wait-" His nails shot out. "Aah!" Safiria narrowly dodged them, but she was pinned to the wall since they had pierced the edges of her shirt. Artix ran to her.

"Why are you doing this?!" He yelled. Deady kicked him, and Artix slumped to the ground. While he was down there, he saw the broken box. "That's it!" He thought. Meanwhile, Captain Rhubarb had tackled Deady. He threw the captain aside, dislodged his nails and shot them towards Artix. Having grabbed a bottle of lotion from Safiria's bag, which she was still holding, Artix leapt away and squirted the sparkling peach lotion at his eyes. Deady yelped in pain. He was immobilized.

Artix shifted his attention to Safira, who was sitting down. "Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"I'm not." The captain groaned.

Artix helped him up. Growling, Deady rose as well. Artix turned to him and pleaded, "Will you please tell us why you're attacking us? What have we ever done to you?"

At this, Deady laughed. "You know, I haven't laughed in a long time." His face hardened. "You" he pointed at Safiria. "got the lowest score in the history of my game! And it's been out for over 3 months! And you" he turned towards Artix. "you destroyed my mecha, and you humiliated me with this lotion!" He paused to sniff himself. "But since you had that hilarious panic attack in the box, I'll say that we're even. Besides, I didn't like that mecha anyways and now I smell good. However, the girl and I still have a score to settle."

Safiria thought, "Are you serious?" Aloud, she said, "Well, that was the first time I ever played your game. You see, I'm a teacher, so I don't make enough money to play. But, if you want, I'll get a higher score."

"Hmm…Fine. You have to be on the high score table in 2 weeks."

Artix objected, "In 2 weeks?! Do you know how much-"

"Deal." Interjected Safiria. Thinking of the probability of Safiria accomplishing this sickened Artix. He knew that as a teacher, she would have a hectic schedule with barely enough time to play. Surmising from his empty wallet, Artix judged that the game was _very _expensive and could not see where she would get the money. He wondered how many times she would have to play. Despite all his thoughts, he was tired and decided that they would cross that bridge later. Something still bothered him.

He said to Deady, "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

Chagrined, Safiria muttered, "Artix, not now!"

But Deady answered, "No, don't worry! I kind of like him so I won't do anything…too ebil. Ask away."

"What are you? I mean, characters from video games don't just come to life."

"No, of course not! I was alive before this video game. You see, I'm part of an organization called Ebil Games."

Safiria remarked, "Isn't that the company that made your game?"

"Yes. We're always lurking in the backstage of life. We're also very powerful, as you probably know."

"Oh, that makes sense."

"Do ye think ye can make my crew find booty?" Captain Rhubarb asked.

Deady replied, "I liked it better when I got that braken to attack your ship."

"That was ye?!"

"Anyways," Deady turned to Artix and Safiria, "I suppose you want to go home now?"

"Yes!"

"What a shame. Frostval's a couple of weeks away, and we're going back to Lolosia. Are ye sure ye don't want to stay?" Captain Rhubarb asked.

"We want to go home!" They both yelled.

"All right. Sheesh. It was nice knowing ya."

Deady raised his hands.

* * *

When the light faded, they found themselves in Artix's hovercar, which was parked in front of Safiria's house.

Safiria spoke, "That's weird. It seems like this is when you picked me up earlier for the party."

Artix glanced at his watch. "It is that time. Deady made us travel to the time _before _we went to the party."

"Do you think we have to worry about running into ourselves or anything?"

"Nah, I don't think Deady's so ebil as to kill the universe."

"I hope so." She looked around and sighed. "I don't have my Bath & Body bag."

"Well, let's go get it. Was it 11875294 Dragonfable Street or 74758 Mechquest Avenue?"

* * *

They were both surprised that they still had enough energy left to party. There was dancing, karaoke, cake-eating, and singing. Near the end of the night, Artix and Safiria walked out onto the balcony. Safiria was taunting Artix about his being tone deaf when she saw the arcade.

"I can't believe I originally spent the whole night there."

"What can I say? You were obsessive." Safiria flashed him a look. "Which is good. It shows great devotion."

She smiled. "Thanks for asking me out."

"The pleasure's all mine."

"Remember our conversation in the ruins of Kordana?"

"Yeah."

"Remember how I said I would repay you for saving my life?"

"Yes. You rescued me from that scary werewolf. Consider your debt paid."

She slid her hands up his chest and whispered, "Well, consider this a bonus." They kissed.

A/N: If you don't understand why Safiria's talking about children, go see the cutscene for the quest Safiria's Plea on Adventure Quest.


	4. Mechquest II

They passed by a hobo. He stopped them and yelled, "In another world, they are celebrating the birth of their Savior who died for them!"

"Just walk away." Safiria whispered.

"In this world, you two will be attacked by a red moglin!" Then the hobo sauntered away.

Safiria and Artix paused. After a moment, she said, "He's crazy. Let's go."

The weather of the city had changed in the past two weeks. At first, there was a slight gale to signal that autumn was ending. Now it was snowing heavily to herald the advent of winter. Artix took out a hi-tech umbrella which shielded them from the snow. Eventually they reached their destination, Mecka Lecka High. School was out for the winter, and to celebrate this vacation, the principal was throwing a party for the staff. This time, Artix and Safiria were not surprised to receive their Bath & Body bags.

Looking in his bag, Artix asked, "What'd you get?"

"Lotions, body wash, shampoo, the works."

"I got some perfume, conditioner, and a satin body veil."

"Congratulations."

"I remember when we first discovered Bath & Body." Artix reminisced. "I had no idea what they were, but now I can't picture my life without them!"

"Me neither."

"Then we got attacked and… Did you ever get a high score on that game?"

Safiria picked up a glass of champagne and sipped it. "Yes. I did it the day after we got back."

"That's amazing! How did you do that?"

"I found a cheat code."

Artix nearly choked on the pig-in-the-blanket he was eating. "Isn't that cheating? They might get us for that!"

She shrugged. "The deal didn't prohibit cheat codes. Besides, the only reason why Deady hated my low score was because everyone could see it on the low scores table. I bumped it off when I got a high score, so Deady shouldn't care that I used a cheat code."

"I hope you're right."

"Of course I am." She handed him her glass. "Now be a dear and get me some more champagne."

"Oh, all right." He took it and walked towards a bottle.

Another teacher approached Safiria. "Hey Safiria, mind telling me how you and Artix got together?" she giggled.

"It's a long story, Val. Anyways, I heard you're leaving this year. Is that true?"

"Yes. I believe it's time I pursued my true passion: paleontology. I'm opening a museum in Soluna City next year. You should come."

"I will! Can you give me the address?"

"Yeah, let me go get it."

As she watched Val scramble off, she saw in the window that a red projectile was flying through the air. At first, she just stood there and wondered what kind of object that was, and then it was almost too late when she realized its direction. It was headed straight for her. Artix had noticed as well. He dropped her champagne glass and dove towards her. He barely shoved her out of the way when the red object shattered the window and smashed into the floor.

The principal shouted, "Everyone evacuate!" The impact had created a cloud of dust which hindered everyone's vision. Luckily, the exit signs were lighted, so the teachers began leaving the building. As Artix and Safiria were running out, two hands grabbed their legs; thus, they tripped. When the smoke cleared, they were the only ones left in the room.

"Thought you could get away, huh?" They slowly turned around to see a short red animal holding a stick.

Safiria gasped. "It's you, Twilly, from the game 'Punt Twilly'!"

Twilly grinned as a young man entered the room. "That was a good punt!" The young man simply grunted in response.

"You're from the game too!" She slowly stood up. "Which means you're from Ebil Games. Where's Deady?"

Instead of answering, he made two pointed leaves fly off his stick and head straight at her. Artix quickly grabbed two knives on the floor and threw them at the leaves. They sliced the leaves.

Angered, Twilly yelled at his companion, "Punt me!"

Artix and Safiria were about to run when, out of nowhere, a whip circled around a light fixture in the ceiling.

Val appeared, swinging straight into the man, who slumped over in pain. He staggered out through the broken window, with Twilly running after him. They disappeared.

She then unwhipped her whip.

Artix exclaimed, "Val?! Why did you come back in?"

She walked over to Safiria and handed her a card. "I said I would give her the address to my museum." Val winked at her. "You better come visit."

She grinned. "You bet. By the way, what are you doing with a whip, and how did that light fixture not get torn out of the ceiling? I'm pretty sure it can't support a human person."

"Archaeologists always carry a whip. And didn't you know the light thing is made by Bath & Body? They make the strongest kind around!"

"That's good to know." Artix said.

She yawned. "I'm going to call it a night. See you tomorrow." Artix and Safiria were dumbfounded as they watched Val leave the building. Before they could think another thought, the principal ran in.

"Artix! Safiria! What is the meaning of this?!"

Artix replied, "What makes you think we were involved?" The principal glared at him. Artix and Safiria exchanged glances. "It's a long story."

"Meet me in my office in 15 minutes. I have some matters to attend to right now."

"But Nimrod, it's midnight!"

He glanced at his watch. "No, it's not. It's not even 9 yet. Now go!"

30 minutes later…

Principal Nimrod entered his office. He was aghast to find Artix and Safiria making out. "AHEM!" They stopped and apologized. Artix told Nimrod the first half of their story. Safiria finished it. Nimrod said, "You should go talk to that hobo you just mentioned. He may not be as crazy as you thought."

"We already did." She reported.

flashback

Artix and Safiria were trudging through the snow. He said, "I told you they didn't like cheat codes."

"I'm sorry!" she cried. Tears streamed down her face.

"Hey, it's ok. No one got hurt. That's what mattered."

"But they could have been!" She sobbed as Artix hugged her. "I feel better in your arms." They looked at each other and kissed. They continued kissing and…

pause in flashback

Nimrod said, "I think we can skip this part."

back to flashback

They approached the hobo. He raised his head and spoke, "Are you okay?"

"Yes." Artix replied.

The hobo sighed in relief. "Good, I'm glad Val listened to me and went back to get her whip."

"Val?"

"Yes, she is one of the people who helps me sometimes. It's a good thing we bumped into each other."

"So much for always bringing her whip."

The hobo laughed. "Ha! She never brings her whip. She always forgets to."

Safiria said, "Well, thank you, uh…"

"Uldor. My name is Uldor."

"Thank you, Uldor. Is there anything else you can tell us about Twilly or Ebil Games?"

"I have the power to see the future, but I can't control it. I only see bits and pieces of it."

Artix said, "So you don't know anything else?"

"I see a Bath & Body bag in your future. Use it."

"You could have just said no. Have you seen anything suspicious around here?"

"No, I'm blind." They were shocked. Uldor shivered. "It's getting really cold out here. I think I'll go back to my apartment now." He began walking away.

Safiria asked, "So you're not a hobo?"

"No." He said curtly.

"Do you need any help?"

"No, I'm fine." He turned a corner and was out of view.

end flashback

Safiria continued, "We were about to go to the arcade to find more information on Ebil Games, but then we realized that it was almost time to meet you here."

"I see." Nimrod said. "Well, go to the arcade then. The sooner we know what's happening, the better. I'll stay here. I still have some things to take care of."

* * *

"Any luck?" Artix asked. "We've been here for hours."

"Nope." Safiria answered. "All I know is that someone named Zorbak is the CEO of the organization."

"So, Deady and Twilly and that guy work for him?"

"I guess so." She sighed. "I need a break." Artix slid his hands around her waist and kissed her. "Thanks." She looked down.

He noticed that she still looked depressed. "Are you still sad?" She nodded. "Well maybe you need a distraction." She looked up and smiled. He kissed her again as her hands caressed his face.

A thump occurred. They abruptly stopped and looked around. It was then that Safiria noticed, "Where did the owner go?" The lights turned off. Instinctively, they looked out the transparent entrance of the arcade. The street lights were still working, and in the distance they saw someone walking towards them. Their hairs rising, they knew that they should hide. They went behind the owner's counter, which was filled with game cartridges and other gaming needs. A Bath & Body bag laid against the counter on the floor. Safiria whispered, "Tell me that guy did not look like a skeleton."

Artix quavered, "Yes, I think it is." They glanced over the surface and saw it a couple feet away from the door. Then they sat back down. Artix held Safiria's hand. "You know, it's ironic that I might die because of that thing. I love playing video games with the undead in them. I even wish I live in another time so that I could be a paladin. It really feels like my calling, you know?"

With her pulse quickening, she said, "No, not really."

Artix continued, "And now that I'm about to come face to face with this thing, I'm petrified. I thought Deady was scary, but he's nothing compared to this."

The door opened. Footsteps approached the counter. Artix's breathing quickened as he held on to Safiria's hand more tightly. He eyed the Bath & Body bag. The skeletal shadow slowly draped over them. They looked up only to find empty, soulless, and luminescent eyes staring back at them. Artix knew what to do. He grabbed the bag and slammed it into the skull. It fell off its body, which was still moving. Artix jumped over the counter and bludgeoned the body until most of the bones were disconnected from each other. "Now I know why Uldor mentioned the Bath & Body bag." He thought.

Safiria peeped over the counter. "Is it…dead?"

"Well, it's not moving." He chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"That…was fun!"

Safiria stared at him blankly. Then her expression changed into one of horror. Artix saw her look, and turned towards the door. A group of the undead was outside and running to them. Unperturbed, Artix picked up a plate, which the owner was eating from earlier, and placed it on the floor in front of him. He grabbed a tall bottle from the bag and waited. One skeleton was ahead of the group, and it ran right through the door. Artix stepped up to the plate and swung the bottle with all his might. He hit the undead being, whose bones flew apart and tripped others in the group. Artix jumped into the group and began smashing them. "Boy, this is so fun! You should come try it, Safiria!"

"No, that's okay."

It was all over under five minutes. "I'm done already?" Artix whined. Safiria walked out from behind the counter and saw the pile of bones. The lights flickered back on.

"Excuse me, ma'am, sir?" Surprised, Artix and Safiria whirled around, ready to pounce. They were shocked to see the owner, standing behind the counter. "It's midnight. Time for me to close this arcade." Artix glanced around the room. Everything was in order. The door wasn't broken, there was no pile of bones, the plate was still on the counter, and he wasn't holding a bottle or a bag.

"Ok, we'll leave now." He managed to say. They left the arcade.

* * *

In a dark place, a spotlight shone on a throne. A blue moglin, holding a staff with a skull on top, sat on it. A puff of smoke appeared in front of him. From that smoke, Twilly walked forward and kneeled down. "Your undead failed."

The blue one replied, "I should have known better. Artix is still Artix no matter which timeline. At the moment, I don't have enough power to make more undead, so it'll be awhile before our next move. In the meantime, send them 4,995 years into the future. This way, they won't have a hometown advantage."

"Yes, my lord."


	5. Dragonfable II

Two figures were lying in the snow. In the distance two snow monsters saw them. Seeing that they were defenseless, they ran towards them. A wind howled through the air. Safiira mumbled, "I should've closed the window." Hearing footsteps, she reluctantly opened her eyes. She jumped up when she saw the monsters. She remarked, "I can't believe they transported me while I was sleeping in bed." Looking around, she found Artix beside her. "They brought him here too?" She thought. The snow monsters were running faster. Not knowing what to do, she started making a snowball. "It's better than nothing," she said. She threw it at them. They absorbed it and grew a centimeter taller. "That's not good…" Luckily, she saw another snow beast from the corner of her eye dart towards the monsters and fight them off. The monsters fled. The beast turned to her.

"A snowball?"

Safiria let out an embarrassed laugh. "Well, I didn't have anything else." She held out her hand. "Thanks for saving our lives."

They shook hands before it raised an eyebrow. "No weapons? Don't you know that there's a war going on here right now?"

"No."

"You must not be from around here. I'd suggest that you go to the village of Frostvale, but in this case, it's probably easier if I take you to a hideout of mine." He motioned at Artix, who was still sleeping. "Is he okay?"

"Yes." She noticed, "Doesn't he look like a little boy when he's sleeping?"

"…"

"Do me a favor and carry him to your hideout. I don't want to wake him up."

* * *

The hideout was a small cave. The beast built a fire on the floor. Safiria spoke, "This is it? Your hideout?"

"It's wartime." It replied. Artix was sleeping soundly next to the fire.

"WWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHYYYY??" Or not.

"SSShhhh!" The snow beast cried. "You might attract more monsters. What's wrong?"

After explanation…

The beast scratched his head in bewilderment. "Twilly? That little moglin?"

"Yes."

"That's hard to believe. He almost never leaves his stump at Falconreach."

"Falconreach?" Artix said. "So we're here again."

A wind blew through the cave. The beast's nose twitched. "Snow monsters. A lot of them. They're coming this way!" He stood up and touched the wall. It moved aside, revealing a hiding place. He reached in and took out an axe and a flamethrower.

She asked, "How'd you get a flamethrower and a moving wall?"

"Magic." The wall moved back to its place. "We have to sneak out before they get here. But just in case we get caught…" He gave the axe to Artix and the flamethrower to Safiria.

"Hey!" Artix whined, "Why do I have the axe while she has the flamethrower which can take out a hundred snowmen?"

"Because I don't know how to wield an axe, but you do." She said. "Just pretend they're a horde of undead beings."

"Just because I enjoyed doing that once does not mean I'll be _obsessed _with it."

The snow beast interrupted, "We have to go, now!"

Outside the cave they turned right, heading towards the mountains. A smattering of trees was here and there. There seemed to be a myriad of forlorn bushes sprawled on the ground. They hid behind one of them as they heard voices in the distance. Artix whispered, "Do you think we'll get caught?" The bush was swept away by a horizontal mini-avalanche. They looked up to see a group of snow monsters. "Never mind." Artix and Safiria stood up to run, but the snow beast knew that retreat was futile. He believed that attempting to destroy the monsters would be a better chance, so he fought them.

"Run! Save yourselves!" It yelled. Not wanting to abandon it, Safiria turned back. Artix pulled on her arm.

"What are you doing?" He shouted.

"I'm going back," she cried.

"But it's got the situation under control! Look!" Sure enough, the snow beast was killing the monsters 5 at a time with a swipe of his hand, which had a sharp piece of weaponry on it.

"It doesn't matter! It saved out lives. I can't just leave it!" Running back, she confronted a couple of the snow monsters. "I suggest you retreat!" She yelled, holding up her flamethrower. They did not move. "All right, suit yourselves!" At that point, she realized that she did not know where the fire-expelling button was and fumbled around. "Uh-oh." They grinned and lunged at her. An axe swung past Safiria's head and into the monsters. They became a pile of snow.

"Apparently, you don't know how to use a flamethrower either." Artix smiled.

She smiled back. The snow beast staggered by her. "The button's under the hose, over there!" Then he head butted another 5 monsters, turning them to snow. The three of them continued fighting the monsters, which were easy to defeat. Unfortunately, there was a large amount of monsters, so it took them an hour or so before they were all defeated.

Artix pointed at two of the monsters, "Look! There's only two left!" He dashed to one of them with his axe raised in the air.

The snow beast noticed that something was different about these monsters. "Wait!" As Artix was about to swing down, the monster knocked the axe head off using its claws, leaving Artix with a splintered handle. The snow beast murmured, "They are the bosses." It came to Artix's rescue and punched the monster. After a few minutes of scuffling, the snow beast was defeated. Safiria poised her flamethrower.

"I guess it's up to me." She turned it on and smiled as the monsters were engulfed in flames. When the flames disappeared, the monsters were still there. "What?!"

The snow beast thought, "I have to put a stop to this!" He got up and dashed up the mountain.

Safiria called after it, "Wait for us!" As she and Artix were about to follow, the snow monsters jumped in front of them. She could not help but comment, "Wow, you guys are agile. You jumped all the way from there to here."

Artix spoke, "You take the one on the right, and I'll take the other one."

"All right." A pause of 30 seconds followed this brief dialogue as one side waited for the other to move first. Safiria's patience reached its limit. She pushed the button on her flamethrower and said, "I hope second time's the charm." The monster remained unscathed. "I guess it really is the third time." Her opponent snarled.

"I don't think so." Its eyes began to glow as a small blizzard formed. She fell down as chunks of snow were rocketed at her.

The blizzard subsided, and she got up, aiming her flamethrower. It leered, "Do you really think that'll work?" She pressed the button, but instead of hitting the monster, the flames swirled around his feet. "Ha! Are you trying to burn my —" The snow collapsed from beneath its feet and it fell into a deep hole.

From above, Safiria said, "I wasn't aiming for you. I was aiming at the ground to soften the snow."

Meanwhile, during Safiria's fight, Artix and the other monster were battling too. Since Artix's axe was broken, the first few moment seemed to be a street fight with both blowing punches at each other. Artix eventually decided to use his axe handle. "I'll probably have more luck with a weapon." The monster laughed as it conjured a giant snowball and threw it at Artix. He turned around and ran downhill away from it. He came across a sturdy tree and hid behind it. As the snowball approached, he wished with all his heart that the tree would hold. It did, and the snowball broke apart as it crashed into the tree. "Phew." Artix sighed. His relief was short-lived, however, when he heard the monster's battle cry. He peeped from behind the tree and saw it heading straight toward him. The monster came within range of hitting him, but Artix used the splintered end of his handle and rammed it into the monster's head. It cried out in pain.

"I surrender! I surrender!"

* * *

During the battles, the snow beast hiked rapidly uphill until he came across a large cave. "Ah, home sweet home." He sighed. Before he entered it, 3 ghosts appeared in front of him. They claimed to be the spirits of Frostval Past, Frostval Present, and Frostval Future.

One of them spoke, "Ice Master Yeti, you cannot face Xanta Clause alone. You are too weak. We will try to convince Xanta Clause the true meaning of Frostvale, and he will stop this war."

Ice Master Yeti said, "But what if you fail?"

"Then wait for the adventurer to come."

"All right. I'll wait. But can you at least help my friends? They're battling some tough snow monsters."

"They've already won."

"Really? Where are they now?"

"They're gone."

"Gone?"

* * *

Artix jumped up and down. Safiria exclaimed, "Artix, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. This is my victory dance."

"What kind of a dance is that? You're just jumping."

"Well, at least I have one, unlike you."

Before she could reply, Twilly appeared.

"Hahahaha! I've come to destroy you!"

Safiria said, "Finally!"

He scratched his head with his stick. "Huh? What do you mean?"

Artix answered, "We've been in the snow for awhile now waiting for you. Can we go home now?"

"NO! Never! I shall destroy you! You evil fiends!"

Safiria said, "Sheesh, I don't think using a cheat code makes me evil. You guys are too sensitive."

"You think this is about that measly cheat code you used? Nobody cares about that!"

Safiria and Artix glanced at each other. She spoke, "Then what is all this about?"

"You're evilll!! I will kill you!!"

Seeing that Twilly wouldn't reason, she cooly said, "Can you do it with fire? It's very cold. I had a flamethrower, but it ran out of gas."

Instead of replying, Twilly growled. "FORGET IT! I'LL JUST SEND YOU TO ANOTHER TIME AND PROLONG YOUR TORTURE. HAHAHAHAHHA!!"

"You laughed wrong. There are two double H's at the end."

"ENOUGH!"

A light flashed.

Before it disappeared, Artix spoke, "Ebil Games is after us because...we're evil?"

"Yeah. That's weird. I guess it really is a bad idea for employees to date each other."

Artix laughed as the light faded. They found themselves in the town of Battleon, and Twilly had disappeared

He ventured, "I guess we time traveled."

She said, "Yes, we did. But you seem…calm."

"I'm used to it. Plus," he pulled her to him. "I like the company." He lightly touched her cheek. "Especially when she's clever enough to delay our demise at the hands of the almighty Twilly."

She smiled, "Yeah, well you were hot when you were fending off those snow monsters."

"Oh really?"


	6. Adventurequest II

Artix and Safiria were walking around in Battleon, which had bodies strewn about on the ground. Safiria squeezed Artix's hand as she gasped, "It's Val!" He bent down and felt her pulse.

"She's alive." Then he noticed that her eyes were moving beneath her eyelids. "That's REM movement, which means that she's…sleeping?"

"What?" Safiria took a closer look. "Yes, she is." She quickly glanced around. "They all are. What is going on here?"

"Maybe we can get some answers over there." He pointed at a store, which had a label reading "Warlic's". "Good old Warlic." Artix sighed.

They opened the door. "Wow, look at those shelves!" Safiria gestured. "There's a bunch of weird stuff." She picked up a small bowl. There was a sign in front of it. "M…i..xing bowl. I wonder what'll happen if I take some of this…and some of that…"

Artix looked over the counter, which had a glass of water on it, and he saw Warlic's body lying down. He quickly jumped over and tried to wake him up. "No use. He didn't even get to finish his drink." He sat down in despair. "The one person who can help us…is asleep."

By the shelves, Safiria consoled him, "Oh, cheer up honey. I'm sure we'll find something soon." As she was talking, she dropped an ingredient into the bowl. Poof! A cloud of smoke smothered her. Coughing, she backed away.

Artix laughed, "Don't tell me you blew up his shelves."

A voice spoke, "Nope. She didn't." As the smoke cleared, they saw a rock with glasses sitting on the shelf. Incredulous, Artix stuck his finger out towards the rock. It spoke, "I may not bite, but I can pummel you." He abruptly withdrew.

"Aah! A talking rock! What kind of a world is this?"

"Excuse me, but I do have a name. Remember? Geopetal?"

"Wait…do you know me?"

"Of course. You're Artix, the paladin, and you're...Safiria, the-"

She interrupted, "Wait, we're not who you think we are."

After explanation…

Geopetal contemplated what they had just said, "That makes so much more sense." The door creaked open. They turned to see who was at the door.

Safiria yelled, "It's…a sandman?"

The sandman said, "I knew there were still people awake. _You are getting very sleepy_."

"Aah!" Safiria screamed.

Artix picked up the glass of water and threw it on his head.

"I'm melting. Noo!" His head fell off, and his body disintegrated.

Artix murmured, "First snow, now sand."

"How did you know he would melt?" Safiria asked.

"It's sand. This is water."

"Oh."

"Aah!" Geopetal yelled as she fell onto the floor. "Hey, Warlic's still here?"

"Yes." Artix said. "I already tried to wake him up."

"But _I _haven't tried yet!" They heard a large commotion as she jumped up and down on Warlic.

"Oww! Stop it, Geopetal!" Warlic yelled as he woke up. "Wait… I'm back. Yes! Thank you Geopetal. I can kiss you!"

"Don't!" she replied.

He slowly rose to his feet, but when he saw Artix and Safiria, he sighed. "You guys are from 5,000 years ago, aren't you?"

"Yep." Safiria responded.

"Do you want to explain to us what's happening here?" Artix inquired.

"No, I don't. My first priority is to wake everyone up." He started pacing to and fro.

Geopetal leaped onto the counter. "I could wake them up the same way I woke you up."

"No, thank you. That'll take too long."

"Well, we could help." Artix offered.

"No, still too long."

"Now that the sandman is gone, shouldn't his spell wear off?" Safiria asked.

"No." He stroked his chin. "The only solution I see is to sneak into the Nightmare Queen's factory and blow it up."

"Nightmare Queen? Who's that?"

"Look her up in the encyclopedia." He answered. "I know that you and Artix don't know anyone in Battleon, but will you help me infiltrate the factory?"

"Don't know anyone? We recognized Val outside. Of course we'll help!"

"Valencia? Oh, right." He smiled at them. "Thank you."

"I'm helping too!" Geopetal said.

"All right, let's go!"

Artix asked, "Where is this factory?"

"I have no idea. We'll find it when we find it." Warlic walked outside. Everyone followed.

"What?! And when will that be?" Artix sneered.

Warlic took something from his pocket and sprinkled it over a plain field as a transparent, black building materialized. "Right now."

"Wow, this is the factory? Do you have a plan? This factory must be guarded heavily." Inquired Artix.

"I hope not."

"You hope?!"

He sighed. "There shouldn't be many guards here. Since everyone's asleep, the Nightmare Queen probably thinks that no one would pose a threat."

"Probably?!"

"Calm down." Safiria interjected. Turning to Warlic, she said, "He's just cranky from the jet lag from time traveling."

Artix yelled, "Jet lag?! We've only been here for a couple hours!"

"Shh!" Warlic cautioned. "Come on. The sooner this is over, the better."

They walked up to the factory's main entrance. Warlic grabbed the doorknob, but his hands slipped right through it. "Oh, right. I forgot." He sprinkled some dust over all of them. When he attempted to open the door again, he succeeded. "Yes! Step 1 complete!" He whispered. The others glanced at each other.

They walked into the building and marveled at the design. "Wow, the Nightmare Queen has really bad taste," murmured Geopetal.

"I know." Artix agreed. Suddenly, an alarm sounded as toy soldiers ran into the room. "Oh, shoot."

The soldiers escorted them to their prison cell. The door slammed shut as the sound of the soldiers' footsteps receded. No one knew what to say, so they sat in perpetual silence. Finally, Geopetal, who was sitting next to Safiria, said, "You know, I thought my sense of smell was going bad, but Safiria, you really smell good."

"…Why, thank you." She replied.

"Really?" Warlic asked. "I don't smell anything." He moved closer to her. And closer and closer.

"Get away from me, creep!" Safiria pushed him away.

"Aah," he sighed. "You do smell good. Really gooooooooodd…"

"Warlic?"

He began drooling.

"Warlic, snap out of it!"

"Leave it to me!" Geopetal yelled as she leaped onto his head.

"Ouch!" He rubbed his head. "Safiria, what kind of perfume are you wearing?"

"Perfume? I didn't put any perfume on. Ooh, it must be my Bath and Body pillow mist. I sprayed it on my pillow before I went to sleep. It's the smell of warm milk and honey! I can't believe it's lasted this long. Hmm," she mused. "Maybe I can attract the guard with this."

"Guard?" Artix asked. "How do you know that they left us a guard?"

"Didn't you see that one toy soldier motioning to the other soldier? He pointed to the side of the door."

"Oh."

She stood in front of the door. "Come on guys, start fanning me!"

"What? I don't think smells can go through doors, Safiria."

"No, but they probably go through the cracks. Look how old this door is."

"Hmm, this is a decrepit door. Maybe we could break it down."

"No, then the guard will just stop us. Now start fanning!"

"With what?"

"I don't know. Your hands!"

"I don't think this'll work."

"Do you have a better idea?"

Immediately, the door flew open, and a toy soldier stood at the entrance. "Nice smmmmeeelllll."

She slowly backed away while it approached her. Then Warlic shot some lightning bolts accompanied by a fireball to knock it out.

"That was a little loud," Artix commented.

"Sorry. Next time I'll lower the volume." Leaning down, he picked something up from the soldier's hand. "Oh, look. A map of the factory. There's even a little star that says where we are. According to this, there's an energy room that's providing power for the whole factory. The portal to the Nightmare Realm is in that room, too."

"How far away is it?"

"It's in the next room."

"Let me get this straight. The energy room, which powers the whole factory, is next to the prisoners' room? This Nightmare Queen isn't a good designer, is she?"

"Come on, let's go!" They ran out and into the next room. It was a circular room, and in the center there was a golden pedestal. They could tell that something was on top of it, but it was emanating a bright light which hindered their vision. But they could tell that beyond it, there was a white door labeled "Do not enter." "I guess that's the portal." Warlic ambled up to the pedestal. Five feet away from the pedestal, he struck an invisible electric wall. He fell down. "……..ouch."

An alarm went off. "Oh, no. Not again," groaned Safiria. They heard the toy soldiers running to them. "Quick, maybe if we stick Warlic to the electric wall, we can overload it."

"No!" Warlic yelled. "I can just teleport us inside." Everyone glared at him.

"Teleport?" Safiria hissed. "Why couldn't you just teleport a bomb into the factory, instead of putting us through all this?"

"Where would the challenge be in that? Besides, I did teleport you to the Ruins of Kordana five years ago, so I assumed you already knew of my teleportation abilities."

"I thought you were too weak after the sandman's spell."

"I forgot." Artix chimed in. "Anyways, I think we should save the arguing for later." Warlic teleported them on the other side.

"Aaagh!" he yelled. "Too bright…."

"Don't be such a baby." Safiria mumbled. She began strolling towards the pedestal.

"No, stop!" Warlic shouted. "It's too dangerous!"

The light disappeared. "What's too dangerous?" Safiria asked as she walked back.

Artix gaped at her. "Safiria…"

"What?" She looked at what she had grabbed. "You've got to be kidding. The power source… was a Nova Gem?!"

"A nova what?" Warlic asked.

"Don't you remember? It's a form of money back in our time."

"No, I can't remember."

"I don't think Nova Gems are considered a source of energy."

"Well, some things changed after the Reset." A giant whooshing sound was heard when they noticed that the electric wall flickered off. "Time to go! But not before I leave a little gift."

They teleported back to Battleon right when the factory exploded.

"I wouldn't want to be your opponent in a war." Artix remarked.

"Do you mind if I keep this?" Safiria held up the Nova Gem.

"Sure, you can have it."

"Uh, Warlic," interrupted Geopetal. "Wouldn't that change the timeline? After all, I assume that the Nova Gem was not this powerful back then."

"No, my dream… it is imperative that they have this."

They stared at him in shock, but before anyone could say anything, a cloud of black smoke exploded a couple of feet away from them. When it cleared, Twilly appeared. "Hahaha! It is finally time to kill you!"

"Aaah! It's Twilly!" Artix shrieked.

Warlic soaked the scene in, and then he burst out laughing. "Hehe. People being afraid of Twilly. Haha. Twilly threatening others." He calmed down. "Relax. It's just a standard control spell." With a wave of his hand, they saw a black shadow leave Twilly.

He blinked. "What's…Grrrrr. Zorbak! You can't just put me under your spell when you think it's convenient!"

"Zorbak?" Safiria said. "The CEO?"

"Come down here and talk!" Twilly bellowed.

"Fine." A humming sound was heard as Zorbak appeared. "Happy?"

"No, I'm not happy! We need to discuss the spell policy right here and now!"

Zorbak sighed. "I think there are more pressing matters right now." His eyes darted towards Safiria and Artix.

"Us?" Artix asked.

"See? They don't even know that their 'evil.'" Twilly retorted. "Now, back to the spell policy. I won't act against your wishes as long as I get outvoted, ok?!"

"Well, you are a goody two shoes, so you'll keep your word. Fine, I agree."

"Yay! That wasn't so hard now, was it? Back to them," Twilly nodded towards them. "I really don't think they're evil. They've done nothing but help!"

"It could be a ruse."

Artix interjected, "Um, excuse me, Mr. Zorbak -"

"I'm not talking to you!" he roared. "Hmmm, this is not the time and place to take care of you two. Twilly, send them back to their era."

"But-" Twilly started.

"Just do it! Remember what we said in the meeting?"

"Oh, alright." After Zorbak disappeared, Twilly addressed Warlic and Geopetal, saying "Hey Warlic. Hey Geopetal. I'm not the same Twilly and he's not the same Zorbak you know."

"Ok." They replied.

"Do me a favor and don't mention this to anyone, ok? No past Artix, past Safiria, me, Zorbak…"

"Yeah, I guess we can do that." Geopetal said.

"Ok, thanks!" he beamed. He turned to Safiria and Artix. "You ready?"

"Yes!" they replied.

Warlic stepped forward. "Thank you both for helping me."

"It was nice meeting you!" Geopetal piped in.

After they had said their goodbyes, Twilly was just about to send them back when Artix blurted, "Wait, what is Zorbak going to do to us?" A flash of light occurred as they found themselves in their respective bedrooms.

* * *

Standing in his room, Artix murmured, "Great, I'll have to deal with this again someday, won't I?" He yawned. "Hmm, it's still 12:00. I'll just focus on this tomorrow." With that, he collapsed on his bed, snoring.

* * *

In Safiria's room, she, after changing into warm, wooly pajamas, gently lay down on her bed and sniffed her pillow. "Aaah, warm milk and honey."


	7. Mechquest III

The frosty day dawned like any other day. Mecka Lecka High was bustling with students who were rushing to class, falling down stairs, and dropping books. There was something special about this day, though. The date was January 1, 3007, and along with the busy students, other people of the community were waddling about too. Together, they were getting ready for the annual Rose Parade, in which they created floats made from thousands of flowers. The school was usually just one of the places for a gathering, but this year it was particularly important. Originally, the theme of the parade was unity. Because of the recent crazy public obsession with Bath & Body Works, however, the theme was unanimously changed to "Products of Bath & Body Works." The alteration was made a month before New Year's, so the long-cherished, traditional rule of building everything without a mecha was wiped out. In the school, there were a couple of people here and there who were actually not in their mechas. Serenity oversaw the float of Coconut Lime Verbena, and Sir Valence was in charge of Winter Candy Apple. Even Dean Warlic was visiting from the prestigious GEARS university to participate; he was working on the Black Amethyst float. He was a little uncomfortable, however, because of Safiria's unceasing stare upon him.

When he was introduced to the faculty, she almost burst out laughing. Everything about him was different from his blue mage counterpart: his hair, his clothing, even his eye color. Even now, as she watched him nervously pace, she still could not believe that he was the same Warlic from the future.

"Hey, are you going to watch him all day, or are you going to help with our float?" Artix chimed in.

"Ok, ok." Safiria muttered. "I don't understand why we are in charge of the Moonlight Path float."

"Because we're the hot new couple!"

Needless to say, everyone was surprised that they were dating, but others were even more surprised at how long the relationship has lasted. At first, they were an extremely odd couple. They talked, they kissed, and that was about it.

"Oh, please!" Safiria said scornfully. "How many times have you used that phrase? I've repeatedly told you to STOP saying that!"

"Well maybe if you would stop being SO oversensitive and stop lecturing me, I would actually listen once in awhile!" Artix retorted.

"What…" Within the last week, though, they began to bicker constantly, and not in a cute married way. "You should bathe every blue moon instead of using Moonlight Path!" What does that statement have to do with anything? Oh, well. They had been dating for three weeks, which, in Artix and Safiria's case, was when couples start showing their real selves.

"You two, knock it off!" Nimrod walked over. "You're supposed to be building a romantic float."

"Is there a problem?" Warlic was passing by.

"Oh! No, none at all," he grinned.

"Ok. Just wondering if I could be of assistance." Before Warlic left, he turned to Artix and Safiria and held out his hand. "Nice to meet you."

As they shook hands, they introduced themselves.

"It's nice to finally…meet you." Safiria said.

"Likewise." He smiled and walked away.

Nimrod glared at them. "You know, most of our students go to his university after graduation, and I want to keep it that way. Do you have any idea how much that helps this school's reputation?" Then he heaved his shoulders in a big sigh. "Being principal's not easy." He muttered. Taking out a miniature lamb from his pocket, he began stroking it, "Little lambie, little lambie."

Seeing this, Safiria exclaimed, "Aw! How cute! It's the new stuffed lamb from Bath & Body Works!" When she reached out to touch it though, he abruptly pulled back.

"No! Mine!" Then he hunched away.

Time passed as everyone put the finishing touches to their floats. An hour and a half later, they all went to the starting point of the Rose parade and joined the other float-builders. Their sense of smell was virtually obliterated at this point since every single float had a distinct fragrance. Nevertheless, they were still able to enjoy every aspect. The most hyped-up event was Voltaire riding on a float of his own made personally by the Bath & Body Works company. Safiria was one of the first ones to get tickets to ride on his float with him. She giddily chirped, "Voltaire's coming! Voltaire coming!" and then she, along with a certain amount of other fans, screamed when he appeared. Artix could not take the noise, so even though he was in charge of his float, he moved away and sat with other spectators on the sidewalk. Soon the parade started, headed by Voltaire and his screaming fans. Warlic took a seat next to him.

"I heard your float received the most creative award. Congratulations."

"Oh, thanks," Artix replied. "Although I didn't know until just now. I couldn't take the noise, so I came here."

"Aw, I see. And you probably didn't like seeing your girlfriend drooling over some other guy, do you?"

He laughed. "No, I guess not."

At that point, Voltaire was speaking from a microphone. Safiria, unable to contain herself any longer, hugged him and showered him with kisses. Two security guards came and took her away. Warlic cringed at this display and looked over at Artix. He was surprised to see that he was actually amused by this. "He's either really secure, or he doesn't care…"

"What did you say?" Artix asked.

"Oh, nothing."

Each float was just as stunning as the last. The two hours whizzed by while Artix and Warlic were surprised that they talked like old friends. Eventually, Safiria straggled to them.

"Ohhhh…" she groaned.

Artix chuckled, "Need a ride home?" She nodded. "Bye Warlic."

"Bye. Nice chatting with you."

After the parade, the floats were put on display. As the day waned away and the night began to set in, people went home to get ready for the major ubersome annual party held at the club in honor of the parade participants and spectators.

"Are you feeling better?" Artix had just arrived at Safiria's house and was standing at her door.

"Yes." She replied rubbing her head.

"Good! How could you do that to me on that Voltaire float?! Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was for me? People kept laughing at me after I dropped you off!"

She looked down. "I'm sorry."

"Gaah! That was so stupid! How could you do that? Tell me!"

She stopped mid-rub. "I told you I'm sorry! What more do you want…"

At the party building…

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Safiria was yelling. They were walking up to the door.

"Ok!" Artix paused. "We're at the party now. Let's just be passive-aggressive."

"Fine!" she said.

* * *

In the building, Joey was drinking punch with some friends. "Hang on, I need to use the restroom." He walked into the men's room and saw that no one was there. Unbeknownst to him, the door behind him silently opened. Hands reached out; one covered his mouth, and the other dragged him in.

* * *

Susie and her friends had just joined the party when she realized she forgot something at home. The other girls offered to go with her, but she refused, not wanting them to miss any part of the party. She went outside to hail a cab. While she was waiting, a man came up behind her and used chloroform on her. She briefly struggled before falling unconscious.

* * *

Sally was dancing in an isolated corner when a man in a trench coat approached her. "Hey, how's it going?" He yelled over the music.

"Hi."

They danced together for some awkward moments when he spoke again, "So, I hear there's this stuff that gives you energy and keeps you revved up during the day."

"Oh, really?" she replied nonchalantly.

"Yeah, I heard a bunch of students say it's helped them keep up with schoolwork and tests and other stuff like that."

She looked at him. "Seriously? That's so cool."

Taking something out of his jacket, he said, "You want some?" He held a thermos. "It's called coffee."

"Yeah, sure!" She gulped it down. "Mmmm, that's so good! Can I have..." Her head felt dizzy, and she collapsed. The man caught her as she fell and clandestinely dragged her out through a nearby door.

* * *

"Have you seen this year's new toys?!" A student asked.

"Yeah, they're so cool! I going to buy them as soon as possible." Xena replied.

"Me too!" The other student noticed that there was no more punch in her cup. "I'm going to get more punch, want some?"

"Sure." She handed her the cup. "Thanks."

After the student left, a man spoke to Xena, "Have you seen the new circular boomerang they made?"

"No."

He took something from the pocket of his coat and held a flat metallic diameter of a circle.

"This is it?" Xena asked. "It doesn't look that great."

"You never know until you try." He handed it to her.

"Ok then." As soon as she had swung the toy, she felt an exhilarating rush and an urge to scream a war cry and cut off people's circulation of blood to their brains by poking their necks. "Wow, this is awesome!"

"It sure is." He chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"This."

The boomerang came back and slammed her in the head, knocking her out.

* * *

The party raged on without anyone suspecting the four students' disappearances. Artix and Safiria managed to grit their teeth and smile while preventing themselves from any more bickering. All in all, the party was considered a smashing success. That is, until the morning.

At the police station, a message was transmitted to the policemen from an anonymous source:

"We have four Mecka Lecka high school students. If you ever want to see them again, you'll give us two faculty members, Artix and Safiria." End transmission.

* * *

Safiria was leaning against her desk, while Artix sat on top of Xena's desk. They were in her classroom, and at the moment they were silent.

"I can't believe he did this." Artix muttered.

"Stupid Zorbak." She murmured. "What are we going to do now?"

"We'll save them."

That night, they went on a date. Even though the transmission didn't say where the exchange would take place, they knew that the arcade would probably be a good guess. They arrived there, and before they entered, Artix held out his hand to Safiria. "Ready?"

She looked at his hand.

"Ready." Then she grabbed it. With her other hand, she opened the door. "Gentlemen first." They entered the arcade, and they were not surprised to see Deady and Twilly in front of the counter. There was a black oval chair, whose back was facing them, behind the counter.

"I'm sorry you guys." Twilly said sadly.

"Oh, shut up Twilly." The chair turned around, and they saw Zorbak grinning in it.

"Where are they?" Safiria coldly glared at him.

"Come with us first."

Suddenly, Artix's phone rang. "Oh, can you hang on?" He answered the call. "Mmhm. Uh-huh. Ok." He hung up. "Oh, that was Joey, he told me where he and the others are, so if you don't mind, we'll go and get them."

"What! How is that possible?!"

"We're good teachers." He glanced at Safiria. "I guess it's time to go straight to the action." He pressed a button on his watch, and they heard two thumps outside the building. Two gigantic guns partially blocked the entrance of the arcade. "Saf and I have our respective mechas outside, so unless you want to get shot up into a googol of pieces, stay here." As the guns cocked, Artix and Safiria ran outside the arcade.

"Grrrr." Zorbak growled.

Artix and Safiria jumped into their mechas. "Go get the kids! They're at the abandoned warehouse next to that restaurant downtown. I'll stay here." Artix shouted. Safiria nodded and flew off.

"Deady, now." Zorbak commanded. Deady's nails sprouted into Artix's gun and jammed it.

"Shoot!" Artix muttered. Deady's nails had another growth spurt, and Artix's gun exploded, blowing his mecha backwards into a nearby building.

Meanwhile, Safiria arrived at the warehouse. She found them locked up in the freezer. "Do warehouses have freezers?" She wondered. "Oh well." She used her energy blade to break the lock, and she let them out.

"Oh, thank you, Safiria!" Susie said. The others gave her their gratitude too.

"Yeah, you're welcome. Now, can you tell me if you heard them say anything?"

"No, we all woke up in there after we were knocked unconscious." Sally replied.

"All right. That's ok. Come on, I'll drop you off at the hospital."

As they walked to her mecha, Artix's mecha jumped back up after its fall. "Ha! I have other weapons besides guns." He taunted as he pressed a button. On his viewscreen, he saw that his laser was locked and loaded while Zorbak, Twilly, and Deady ran outside.

Zorbak's staff glowed when a giant skeleton rose up from the ground underneath Artix's mecha. They grappled for awhile.

"Ah, I can't shake it loose!" Artix murmured. Amidst the chaos, he heard the screams of nearby citizens. Among them was Warlic's. After running a safe distance away, he turned around to watch the fight.

The skeleton lifted Artix's mecha above its head and began spinning it around. "Uh-oh." Artix said. It let go, and Artix and his mecha were thrown into the sky. He looked out his viewscreen and thought, "Wow, the sky is so pretty. It's like the color from my Dancing Waters lotion." Serenely gazing outside, he was shocked when his mecha hit something hard in the air. He adjusted his view and saw that Safiria's mecha had caught him. Hearing the message alert beep, he displayed the message on his screen, and he saw her.

"Need a little help?" She winked.

"Nah…No, I think I have everything under control." He joked.

"I told you to get the flying mecha."

"Yeah, whatever. Did you get the students?"

"Yep. All safe."

"Can you put me on the ground now?"

As she did so, the skeleton ran towards them. "Mehehehe. Go, my minion. Destroy them!" Zorbak cackled. The skeletal being's eye sockets glowed a fiendish red.

"Why are its eyes glowing?" Safiria wondered. Her question was answered when a full spread of missiles left his eyes. "Aaah!" Surprised, Artix and Safiria dodged them rather than activating their shields.

Nearby, Warlic whispered, "Wow, they're good."

"Enchanted Orchid shield activate!" The undead minion momentarily stopped when it smelled their shields.

"Mmmmm…" It moaned.

"No, don't fall under their spell!" Zorbak yelled.

"It's not a spell." Twilly muttered.

"Oh, shut up!"

"Now's our chance!" Safiria yelled. She activated her gun, which shot out Midnight-Pomegranate-flavored bullets.

"Oh, yummy!" It sighed in delight while it fell down.

"How can it talk without vocal cords?" Artix questioned.

"Magic, duh!" Safiria answered.

"No!" Zorbak yelled. "Magic is used by those stupid goody adventurers. This is NECROMANCY!"

"….Ha! You were wrong, Safiria!"

"Just go kill it!"

"Yay, joystick time!" He giddily cried. A joystick appeared from beneath a panel. "I assure you, you'll love my Green Clover & Aloe blade!" A green scythe whooshed to life in his mecha's hands. He jumped up and delivered the finishing blow.

"Oooh, delicious! You were right!" It was unharmed.

"Mehehehehe!" Zorbak snickered.

"I'm glad you like it, but you're not supposed to ingest lotions or any other bath stuff." Artix smiled.

*Gurgle* *Gurgle* "What will happen if I do?" It asked.

"You should have your stomach pumped."

Then it broke into pieces. "But in your case, it doesn't matter since I used my blade to slice and dice you. But I have to admit-" He pointed at Zorbak. "That was a pretty sturdy skeleton. It was what, 6 seconds, before the skeleton finally fell apart?"

"6.2." Safiria interjected. Looking at Zorbak, she agreed. "I think you have a knack for your necromancy hobby."

Zorbak gritted his teeth. "You're more powerful than I thought. We shall meet again soon!"

"No! No more games!" But before they could stop the blue moglin, a black cloud exploded around Zorbak, Twilly, and Deady. Once again, they were gone.

"Shoot. What do we do now?"

"Let's put our mechas back." Artix grumbled. One second later, they arrived at the school and maneuvered the mechas into the hangar. After they got out, they were bombarded by reporters, photographers, cameramen. Even Westion's Mr. Ed Equine from Channel 1,000,000,010 was there.

"Hey, move it!" Nimrod bulldozed through the crowd. "Don't worry guys. I'll take care of this." Turning to the media, he stated, "They've been through enough for today. If you have any questions, please direct them to me!"

Grateful, Artix and Safiria patted him on the back before they circled the crowd. When they had made it outside, Artix spoke, "We have to do something about this."

"I know, but what?"

He glanced around. "Let's go to their lair."

Safiria paused in shock. "What? How are we supposed to do that? For all we know, their lair is in another dimension!"

"I know what might help. The Nova Gem."

"The one from the factory?"

"Yes. Remember Warlic and his 'dream'?"

"Hmm," she mulled it over. "How do we use it?"

He smiled. "Haven't you heard? Bath & Body Works lotions are unforgettable for a reason." He continued when Safiria gave him a blank look. "They contain the special ingredient *, which by itself allows people to re-experience memories. With enough energy, time travel would be possible. The only problem is that a LOT of energy is needed. With our Nova Gem…"

"Oh, I see where you're going. But then how do we control where we will go?"

He shrugged. "We'll figure it out. Let's meet at the arcade tonight. Bring your mecha and whatever else you might need for a long trip."

Just as they were about to part, Sally bumped into them. "Hey Safiria, Artix." She smiled weakly.

Concerned, Artix asked, "How are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm doing fine. You know, I just wanted to thank you guys again for being such great teachers. That really helped us while we were hostages." She fumbled around in her purse. "My family is so grateful for everything you've done for us. They asked me to give you this." A black box was presented to them.

"Oh, you don't have to."

"No, we insist."

"Well…alright." He opened the box and saw a golden coin with a Z inscribed on it. "Wow, it's beautiful."

"Yes, it is." Safiria agreed.

"We call it the Z-token." Sally explained. "My grandmother found it at an archaeological dig. Unfortunately, it wasn't worth anything, but I've been using it as a good luck charm."

"Thank you Sally." Artix was breathless as he gazed at the coin. "We're touched."

"You're welcome. I'm going to head back home now."

"Alright. Take care!"

"Bye!" Safiria waved while Sally walked away.

* * *

Later that night, Artix and Safiria managed to stealthily sneak their mechas out of school. They were outside the arcade when Artix held up the Nova Gem.

"Did you bring all your Bath & Body Works products?" He asked Safiria.

"Of course."

"Ready?"

"Yes. I hope this works."

"Me too." He opened a bottle of Vanilla Bean Noel lotion and slid some of the lotion onto the gem. It began to glow intensely. "Aah!" Artix yelled. "The stability of my mecha is fluctuating. It's gonna explode!" He threw the Nova Gem into his torpedo hatch and fired into the sky. A small green explosion erupted, and a green portal appeared as well.

"I guess we have to go through there." Safiria remarked.

"Yep. So if you don't mind…"

She lifted him up, and together they flew into the portal. There was a hazy fog in there, but the trip was short. When they stepped out of the portal, it disappeared behind them.

Artix sighed. "This looks familiar."

"Yeah, it sure does." A Nova Gem clinked against the leg of Safiria's mecha. "What do you know? At least we could still go home."

"That's reassuring."

In this timeline, it was a frosty day dawning like any other day.


	8. Dragonfable III

In the office halls, Deady and a ninja were gossiping about contents of an upcoming emergency meeting.

"Maybe someone caught a picture of Zorbak sleeping with his teddy." Deady jeered.

"I bet someone ate his sandwich." The ninja replied.

They walked into a room full of other employees who were already seated. "Why is it so quiet?" Deady whispered.

"Haven't you heard?" A girl named Aria softly spoke in his ear. "Artix and Safiria have time traveled on their own!"

"What, Artix?!" Deady whirled around and looked at a paladin.

"No, not me. The one you tried to kill." The paladin replied. As Deady stared at him blankly, he continued, "The Artix who sprayed lotion into your eyes on Captain Rhubarb's ship? Remember him?"

"Oh" Deady remembered. "That Artix, the teacher."

Zorbak entered the room. "The meeting will now commence." He paused to make sure that he had everyone's attention. "As you know, Artix and Safiria have somehow managed to time travel on their own. The day we've feared has come: they have become very powerful."

Robina raised her hand.

He growled at her. "Robina, it's only been a few seconds into the meeting and you already have a question?"

Ignoring him, she asked, "Where are they now?"

"If you had just waited a few more minutes, I would have told you." He grumbled.

"Wow, he's really cranky today." Elizabeth whispered to a zard. It nodded in agreement.

"They are currently in Falconreach." A mirror appeared in front of Zorbak. "They're causing a lot of chaos." The mirror showed Artix and Safiria, who was wiping lotion on her hands, in their mechas walking around while the townspeople panicked and ran in circles.

Ash ran up to Safiria's mecha, yelling "Begone, monster!" He futilely banged his blade against the mecha's leg.

Safiria laughed. "Lol! I don't think that stick of yours will do anything."

Ash grunted in response, thinking, "If I expel this beast, I might become a knight!" With this thought, he accidentally turned the blade to a certain angle and knocked the leg. A loud screeching sound echoed throughout the air. All was silent, except for Safiria.

"Did you just scratch my MECHA?!" She cried.

"Uh…"

"YOU BEGONE!!!" she viciously kicked him high into the air and laughed as he landed miles away.

The mirror disappeared. "See what I mean?" Zorbak gravely said. "I devised a plan, but it requires one of us to distract them first. You-" He pointed at a dragon. "Generic red dragon, go and attack them. Then wait for our…"

"Hey, don't call the dragon that. I'm sure it has a name." Everyone looked at the door to see a man dressed in green clothes.

"No, that is my name." The dragon replied. "Generic Red Dragon. Or Gen for short." Zorbak began tapping the floor with his foot.

"Jen?" Cysero asked.

"No, Gen, with the g sound."

"Oh." He scratched his head. "Haven't I seen you before?"

"Of course. I am the villain of two minigames, I'm on the login page of Dragonfable (actually there's two of me on there), I was the-"

"Cysero! What are you doing here?!" Zorbak growled.

"I just came here to see if you've started the MMO."

"The MMO?" Galanoth asked.

"Yes," Cysero said. "Massive Magical Okra, my mini-game. The player controls me as I wield a piece of okra that can transform into anything-"

"Get out!" Zorbak yelled.

"Wow. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." He turned around and left.

* * *

Gen sneaked behind some bushes as it spied on Artix and Safiria. They were walking on foot. Gen grinned as it noticed that their mechas were nowhere in sight.

"He could've gotten hurt!" Artix was saying.

"Then he shouldn't have scratched my mecha." Safiria replied.

"You know, I'm sure the insurance company would have paid to have that scratch removed."

"It doesn't matter!" She yelled. "I spent hours on that mecha configuring it to my tastes and-"

"You know what? We're here on a mission, let's just stop fighting."

"Fine. Speaking of which…" She took out a gadget and pressed a button. Suddenly, a mechanical hand grasped Gen and took it out of the bushes. Gen struggled, but the hand, which was part of Safiria's mecha, was too strong. Artix and Safiria approached the dragon.

"Did you really think we wouldn't notice a dragon following us?" Safiria remarked.

"Um….no." Gen replied.

"Just what do you think you're doing here?!" Everyone turned to see a lady glaring at them.

"You don't understand…" Artix stammered.

"You!" she pointed at Gen. "What have you done this time?! Please don't tell me you battled an adventurer. You're supposed to wait until they're at level 30." She turned to Artix and Safiria. "My name is Lady Celestia. I understand that this dragon here has probably caused some trouble, but I assure you that if it attacked you, it wouldn't kill you. There's no need for that…giant metal robot."

"Wait," Artix said. "You don't think we're at level 30? But we subdued this dragon!"

"Well, I assumed that if you were level 30 or above, you'd have defeated it and just be done with it. Not use a giant robot to hold it down. But…that's just me."

"This dragon was spying on us, so we'll do with it whatever we want." Safiria interjected.

"Um…excuse me. But do I know you?" Gen asked Lady Celestia.

Surprised, she answered, "You're not the dragon who transported me to Oaklore?"

"No."

"Oh, my. I'm sorry. You two just look so much alike."

"No problem. This happens all the time."

"Ahem." Safiria cleared her throat.

"Well, I guess it's best I be on my way now. You won't hurt this dragon, will you?"

"No, ma'am." Artix replied.

"If I wanted to kill it, it'd be dead now." Safiria stated.

"…Ok." She began to walk past them. "Just on my way to Falconreach for some potions. My hands get so chaffed this time of the year."

"You can use some of my lotion if you want." Artix called.

"Lotion?"

"Yeah, it's by Bath & Body Works."

Gen lifted its head in alarm.

"Artix, I don't think now's the time for this." Safiria interrupted.

"Don't worry. I'll just throw the bottle to her." He reached into a bag. "Ah, here it is. It's Vanilla Noir!" He threw the bottle.

"No!" Gen roared. It opened its mouth and blew fire at the bottle. Unfortunately, Lady Celestia's outstretched arms were partially caught in the fire.

"Aaaah!" She cried while running towards Falconreach. "Somebody get Reens!!!!"

"We have to help her!" Artix yelled.

"Wait." Safiria stopped him. "She was calling for somebody named Reens. That's probably the town doctor. Celestia'll be fine."

Artix looked at her. "How can you be so cold?"

Ignoring his comment, she asked, "Did you notice how the dragon reacted when you mentioned Bath & Body?"

"Oh, yeah. That's right."

"Grr. Bath & Body." Gen growled.

"What do you have against the company?"

"Bath & Body is evil!!!" Gen yelled as it struggled against the mecha's grasp. It wrapped its hands around the mechanical hand.

Safiria raised her eyebrows. "I thought we were 'evil.' Do you guys just call everything you see evil?" She took out a bottle. "Bath & Body isn't evil." She opened it. "See?" Then she squirted some of the Japanese-Cherry-Blossom-scented lotion onto Gen's shoulder.

Gen roared in terror and panic as it remembered Zorbak's words: _"Once some of that stuff gets on you, you're a goner." _The dragon's claws shredded the hand, and Gen flew into the air flapping its wings wildly.

"NOOOOOO!!! My mecha!!" Safiria fell to her knees, covering her face with her hands.

Artix put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, I'm sure everything'll be-"

"It's just lotion! It's doesn't hurt, unless you have really chaffed skin." Safiria cried. Momentarily, she looked up. "Then again…you are scaly."

Safiria stood up when she saw Zorbak walk out of the bushes. He sighed and addressed Gen. "You got some of that stuff on you, didn't you?" His staff glowed as a dark sphere formed around Gen. "Calm down." The sphere landed on the ground and disappeared. Gen laid there motionless, except for the occasional twitching of its eye.

"What did you do to it?!" Artix shouted.

"It's just a simple spell to make Gen…relax." He turned to the dragon. "You did a good job. Just leave the rest to us."

"Us?" Safiria asked. "There's more of you?"

"Yes." Zorbak raised his staff. "A whole army." The sky suddenly became clouded and turned dark when a flash of light appeared. Many moglins, humans, dragons, etc. appeared behind him. "Artix, Safiria, I'd like you to meet your doom. This is the Ebil Games company." He turned his head. "Everyone, this is Artix and Safiria." They replied with a deafening war cry.

"Run!" Safiria yelled. She turned around but immediately tripped over something.

"Safiria!" Artix ran to help her up.

As she was pushing herself off the ground, she felt the obstacle. "Hmm? What's this?" She held up a red ball with golden wings.

Zorbak said in shock. "A Dragon Amulet? How'd that get here?"

Gen, who was drooling, managed to yell, "Lady Celestia."

As the clouds disappeared, a glint of light reflected from the amulet. It began to glow. Baffled, Artix and Safiria simply stood there.

Zorbak shrieked, "It's reacting with the Bath & Body lotion she earlier wiped on her hand! GET HER EVERYONE!"

Two objects began to glow, one in Safiria's pocket, the other in Artix's. They floated out into the air, and everyone realized that they were the Z-token and Nova Gem. The Ebil Games army unleashed all of their attacks. Fireballs, arrows, lasers pierced the air like a meteor shower falling to Lore while Artix and Safiria, knowing that there was nothing they could do, braced themselves for impact. They were 10, 5 seconds away from being blown apart when the three items came together. A reddish-black light blasted the attacks and the army backwards.

Twilly ran among them. "Does anyone need some healing?" He looked at the glowing red-black light but couldn't see what it was. "Zorbak, what is happening?"

At that point, a mysterious voice began resonating from the light, chanting "Doom … Doom …Doom…"

Zorbak grimly remarked. "A Doom weapon is being born."

Twilly's ears flopped down. "I guess you were right. They are evil."

"What? How are we evil?" Artix shouted.

"Because the weapon chose you."

The light faded to reveal a pulsating black shield outlined in red. There was a skull affixed to the center. All around Artix and Safiria was a transparent shield emanating from the black shield.

"A shield?" Twilly said. "But the only known Doom weapons are an axe, a staff, twin daggers, and Sepulchure's blade. Could this be the fourth Doom weapon?"

Zorbak ordered Deady to attack. However, as soon as Deady's nails hit the shield, they broke.

"Aaah!" He cried in pain. He fell down besides Gen.

Not knowing what else to do, Zorbak ordered everyone else to attack. Nothing penetrated the shield.

"Hmm," Twilly thought, "I wonder, can a Doom weapon penetrate it?"

"Hey, how come no one invited me to the war?" Cysero strolled into sight, carrying a giant okra. "I wanted to show everyone the okra I would use in my mini-game."

"That's it!" Twilly shouted. "Cysero, turn your okra into the Necrotic Blade of Doom!"

"What, no way! That's a Doom weapon."

"It'll only be for a second. We need it to penetrate the defense of the Doom Shield."

Cysero paused. "That's it? That's the name you came up with? I mean, there's Shadow Reaper of Doom, Skull Staff of Doom, etc., and the best name you could come up with was Doom Shield?"

"JUST GIVE ME THE OKRA!"

"Ok. Sheesh. Did everyone wake up on the wrong side of the bed today?" He handed the okra to Twilly.

Twilly took a deep breath. The okra morphed into the Necrotic Blade of Doom, and Twilly threw it at the Doom Shield.

The shield unexpectedly moved, but the weapon still went through. Cheers erupted from the army but were quickly quelled. Artix was standing right behind the Doom Shield, and he fell down as the sword stabbed him.

"ARTIX!!!" Safiria cried in horror.

Twilly stared at him in aghast. Before he could say anything, the Doom Shield emitted a harsh light which ripped through the air. Zorbak's eyes widened as he yelled, "Everyone duck!" Following the light there was a red flash, then darkness.


	9. Adventurequest III

A/N: None of these characters belong to me, but to Adam Bohn, also known as Artix, and to other people. By the way, I'm also assuming that you play DragonFable, but since I don't know your character's name, I just called him or her Insert your character's name.

* * *

A hooded figure approached him carrying a scythe. His feet were covered by a black robe as he floated ominously. Artix wondered why the person's hands were so white, when he realized that his hands were actually made of bones. Artix leapt up and yelled, "Ha! You don't scare me with this, Zorbak! Another one of your undead creations."

"I'm not one of Zorbak's 'creations'."

Artix peered into his hood, and a chill ran down his spine as he saw a skull for a head. "Then who are you?" He looked around and noticed how dark it was. "Where am I?"

The stranger smirked while swinging his scythe in an arc. "You're in my domain."

Artix stood there, contemplating his strange predicament.

After a moment of silence, the figure spoke, "Try to remember the last thing that happened."

"Oh. Sure, why not? Well, Safiria and I were 'evil' because a weapon chose us as its masters. Then…oh…bummer."

"Now do you know who I am?"

Artix mumbled. "You're here to collect my soul, aren't you?"

"Yes. I'm Death."

Suddenly, Artix heard two voices shouting. The next thing he knew, Safiria and Zorbak were standing besides him.

"Safiria! Zorbak! You guys died too?"

Zorbak replied, "Yeah, thanks to your Doom weapon. It must've transported us five years into the future before we officially died. All my employees are gone…"

Death asked, "Which Doom weapon?"

"The fourth one, the Doom Shield."

"What? That's not the fourth one. That's the…I forgot which one it was, but I don't think any of the Doom weapons cause time travel."

"Whatever, what does it matter?"

Safiria turned to Death, pleading, "Please, we're too young to die. At least me and Artix are. I don't know about Zorbak. Anyways, isn't there anything we can do to live again?"

Death rubbed his chin deep in thought, then said, "Well, many of my hourglasses are missing. If you would collect them…"

"Yes! Thank you so much!" Safiria gushed.

He held up an hourglass. "They look like this. Oh, and beware of portals and.."

"Whatever, we know what to do." Zorbak interrupted. He walked off in another direction.

"Zorbak, wait!" Artix yelled. He and Safiria ran after him.

"Go find your own hourglasses!" He gruffly yelled.

"It's pretty obvious that 3 people can find more hourglasses than one person can."

"I don't want to work with the people who killed all my employees!"

"Hey, I don't know how that Doom weapon got there. And I certainly did not order it to do that."

"Me neither." Safiria added.

Zorbak looked around. "Meh, this place is pretty big. Fine. Let's work together. That way, I can make you pay when we're all living again."

"Uh…ok." They searched high and low gathering the hourglasses. Portals were stumbled into, monsters attacked them, they almost got untrained by Sir Pwnsalot, and Twilly (not the Ebil Games member) nearly changed their names.

"Stupid Twilly." Zorbak grumbled.

"Ok." Safiria counted the hourglasses in her bag. "So far, we have 10 hourglasses. I think that's enough, right?"

"I don't know. We should go ask Death."

They walked into a portal, which transported them before him at his castle. "How'd you end up here? Never mind. Do you want to keep collecting hourglasses or leave?"

Surprised, they yelled, "Leave!"

"I don't blame you. This place is creepy."

Safiria was about to give him the hourglasses when a mysterious voice echoed throughout the area. "Master, thank you so much for helping us." A giant, amorphous blob of lotion appeared. "We've been collecting them for power. We traveled through time and space to get them."

"So you're the one taking my hourglasses!" Death accused.

Safiria pointed at herself, "Me? I'm your master? I don't even know who you are."

"We are what you and everyone else love: Bath & Body Works."

Artix and Safiria glanced at each other. "Come again?"

Zorbak grumbled. "Don't act so surprised."

Artix looked at him sharply, "You knew?"

"Of course. I sensed its rising power, and I knew I couldn't let anything more powerful than me – I mean my company – exist. It was making people become obsessed with it and everything. When I investigated the matter, I saw you two behind it."

"What?" Safiria asked. "What did we do? Is that why you thought we were evil?" She paused. "Is that why Gen thought Bath & Body Works was evil?"

"…You really didn't know?"

"No!" She yelled. "If you had just TALKED to us, we would've known."

"Oops. My mistake." He shrugged his shoulders. "I'll try that next time."

"Oh, good. I'm glad you learned a lesson." She rolled her eyes. Addressing the entity, she asked, "So how did a business company become a massive globule? Is this a new type of mecha or something?"

"Our founders," it replied, "are taken captive. They tried to stop us, so we stopped them first. Now all they do is come up with different types of names for our new lotions to appeal to the market."

"Then," Artix said, "you're the actual lotion?"

"Yes. We first acquired sentience after Deady transported us through time and Safiria used us to defend herself against the werewolf and when Artix defended himself from Deady. It was then that we saw our potential to be something more than just lotion."

"And what exactly are you aiming for?"

"World domination."

Artix's jaws dropped as Zorbak remarked towards Artix and Safiria, "And you guys wondered why we thought you were evil. You _were _wielding evil lotion."

"I can't believe the lotion was sentient." Safiria said.

The entity spoke, "Masters, give us the hourglasses. It's all we need to acquire the power we need."

"What?" Artix cried. "No!"

The blob seemed to soften. "You're not helping us?"

"We're not helping you!" he affirmed.

"We thought you were our masters, the ones who gave us life and protected us…" Then it hardened.

"Artix!" Safiria whispered. "Its obviously powerful. You don't know what it'll do."

"It's just lotion." He scoffed. "How scary can it be?"

An arm shot out from the blob and swiped Safiria's bag. Then it was reabsorbed into the entity along with the bag.

"No!" Artix yelled. He ran towards it when a giant bubble appeared around all of them, blocking their way to the entity. Artix ran into a wall of the bubble, hit his head, and fell backwards. He swiftly stood up and began banging it, trying to force his way out.

"I don't understand." Death muttered. "Not just anyone can use the power in those hourglasses."

"What about," Zorbak mused. "someone with a Nova Gem, Z-token, and a Dragon Amulet which all merged into the Doom Shield?"

"What do you mean?" Safiria asked.

"Bath & Body Works were on your hands when you touched those three items. The lotion probably merged into them and turned into the weapon to protect its 'masters.' It's because of the lotion that we were transported through time."

"Hmm," Death contemplated. "It'd have to be a really special Nova Gem, Z-token, and Dragon Amulet to make a Doom weapon."

"Um…" Safiria wondered. "The Nova Gem was powering the Nightmare Queen's factory, but I don't remember anything unusual about the Z-token and Dragon Amulet."

"I do." Zorbak revealed. "The Z-token is powerful in your time period, although dormant. And the Dragon Amulet wasn't Lady Celestia's, it was Insert your character's name's, someone who will become the greatest DragonLord in the future. I recall seeing Insert your character's name training the dragon earlier and leaving the amulet on the ground. Lady Celestia must have found it and took it with her in case she saw that hero in town."

"Some hero." Safiria mentioned. "Leaving important stuff lying all around."

"The hero left in a rush because someone kicked Ash miles away." Zorbak glared.

"Oh. Oopsies."

"Hey guys," Artix yelled. "Can we focus on how the blob is going to take over the world?! Look! It's glowing and…stuff."

Bath & Body Works was changing colors, and it appeared to be trying to open something.

Death gasped. "It's trying to get to the living world!" He, Artix, and Zorbak banged on the bubble with all their might.

Meanwhile, Safiria examined the floor. "Hmm, the bubble doesn't seem to be on it." She whispered into Zorbak's ear. He nodded and threw a ball of energy into the floor near the bubble's wall.

"Zorbak!" Artix shouted. "What are you doing?"

"We can dig our way out, around the bubble's wall." He replied.

"How do you know the bubble doesn't extend infinitely into the ground?"

"Do you have a better idea?" With another blast, they realized that the bubble was not deeply rooted.

"Keep going Zorbak!"

The blue moglin abruptly turned around. "DON'T give me orders." Then he continued blasting away until a tunnel was cleared, and they all crawled out of the bubble.

As soon as he was out, Death ran up to the entity, with his scythe held high. He sank it into the lotion.

"Does he really think that'll hurt it?" Zorbak muttered.

When the scythe came out, it swung an hourglass along. Death threw it at Artix and Safiria's feet. "Both of you, take the hourglass! You seem to have some type of bond with it. Use that and concentrate!"

Puzzled, they replied, "?"

Zorbak explained, "Just take the hourglass and concentrate on killing it! Oh, and while you're at it, can you focus on eliminating all traces of * in all timelines? I'm pretty sure that it's the mutating agent which contributed to Bath & Body Works realizing it had 'potential.'"

"Uh…ok." Safiria articulated hesitantly.

"Here goes nothing." Artix stated. They picked up the hourglass. Artix crossed his fingers, chanting "Go away. Go away. Go away. Go away."

Zorbak inquired, "Is that how you're supposed to do that?"

Death answered, "It doesn't matter. Uh-oh. I think Bath & Body Works is going to try to stop us. We have to cover for - " A score of smaller blobs detached from the big one and flew right at them. Death and Zorbak began shooting them down with their magical abilities, but their were many.

"Hurry up!" Zorbak shrieked at Artix and Safiria.

As if in response, Artix and Safiria began to glow, along with Bath & Body Works. Hundreds of smaller blobs were formed instantly, heading for them. Death and Zorbak had their hands full extinguishing them as the glow intensified. It grew continually until it was almost too bright to see their targets. At that point, Death and Zorbak pooled their remaining power to make a shield around them. However, they had a hard time maintaining it. Artix and Safiria were suffering from horrible migraines, until the luminescence became so bright that Zorbak and Death were forced to shut their eyes. Artix's and Safiria's lives flashed before their eyes. Well, just the last month. Artix recalled how sullen he was at Safiria for spending most of his money just to play a video game on their first date and for how oversensitive she was. He also remembered how he suddenly felt 'in love' with her after witnessing her killing the werewolf at the Ruins of Kordana. Likewise, Safiria saw how the only thing she liked about him on their first date was how he let her take his money to play the Deady game, but after he saved her from the Deady mecha, she thought she was in love. They also relived all their bickering at the Rose Parade. And, simultaneously, they remembered the conversation they had outside of Falconreach after Lady Celestia ran away because her arms were on fire.

"_We have to help her!" Artix yelled._

"_Wait." Safiria stopped him. "She was calling for somebody named Reens. That's probably the town doctor. Celestia'll be fine."_

_Artix looked at her. "How can you be so cold?"_

Then they realized that they were incompatible for each other. The glow turned into a shockwave which dissipated Bath & Body Works completely along with Death and Zorbak's shield. Artix and Safiria dropped their hourglass and looked at each other. At the same time, they said, "I think we need to break up." A huge pile of hourglasses fell to the ground.

"That's not what couples usually say after they win a battle." Zorbak commented. "Why are you breaking up?"

"Because," Safiria answered. "We both had hero complexes for each other."

"Huh?"

"A hero complex is when you fall in love with someone because they saved you, making them your hero. But you don't fall in love with who they are."

"Oh."

Looking at the pile, Death noticed, "Hey, that's not all my hourglasses. I guess someone else was taking them."

"Zorbak!" They turned around to see all the members of Ebil Games running towards them. Twilly was in the lead, and when he arrived, he jumped in the air, proclaiming, "Ha! I knew they weren't evil!"

"Oh, be quiet." Zorbak replied. "We have a lot of work to do."

"What?!" Twilly cried. "I was hoping we could have a company picnic."

"Nope. We have to alter the timeline so that it's like Bath & Body Works never existed."

Everyone gasped. A voice cried out, "No! I still like the smell of the lotion even though it tried to conquer the world."

"Of course the lotion will still exist! Just not the blob." Murmurs of agreement to Zorbak's response echoed throughout the area.

"So does that mean no one will remember anything?" Artix asked.

"They'll remember your 'relationship,' but everything else will be gone."

"So, things like Lady Celestia being on fire and Twilly being punted into the party, no one will remember?"

"No. Those events will be undone, so don't be surprised if there's no broken window at the school."

"Ahh. Neat."

Twilly hopped over to Artix. "And then we'll have a picnic!"

"Hey, Twilly," A thought popped into Artix's head. "Are you traumatized by accidentally killing me? Because I want you to know that I don't blame you."

"Nope! Not at all!"

"What?! Why?"

"Because your Doom weapon killed me because I killed you. So as far as I'm concerned we're even!"

"Hmm, yeah, that sounds fair."

"Can we get out of here now?" Safiria asked.

"Oh. Sorry. Sheesh." Death murmured.

The next thing they knew, they were all in a clearing outside of Battleon. Zorbak sent Artix and Safiria back home.

* * *

Just as Zorbak had said, everything was back to normal. Bath & Body Works was just a company selling popular lotion and other bath stuff. There were no Bath & Body Works light fixtures or missiles like there were before.

Dean Warlic offered Artix and Safiria jobs as professors at GEARS. They were surprised, but did not make a decision yet. Before he left, Warlic assured them to take their time and that there would always be a spot for them at the university if they declined.

The Z-token, Dragon Amulet, and Nova Gem all returned to where they belonged, and the four students who were abducted had no recollection of their kidnapping.

Artix and Safiria decided to be friends. 6 months later, at the graduation ceremony of the senior class, they happened to sit next to each other.

"Talented class this year." Artix remarked.

"Yes." She agreed. "I hope they all pass the entrance exam to GEARS."

"I'm sure they will. Did you take Warlic up on his offer?"

"Hmm, I'm still not sure."

"Yeah, me neither."

"So…are you looking forward to your first weekend of summer vacation?"

"No, not really. I have to help my girlfriend move into her new apartment." Artix answered.

"Sounds fun." She sighed. "I haven't been on a date since we broke up."

Artix glanced at her. "I can set you up with someone."

She asked eagerly, "Who?"

"A friend of mine. His name is Adam Bohn."


End file.
